I want you and I can make him come around but you'll lose us if I don't hear from you by end of business.

Well, you kept R.S.V.P.'ing no to all my Fifth Column dinner parties.

and the search will result in countless sexually explicit sites, not unlike the one where Sam tells me he gets hundreds of hits a day.

I promised to respect her boundaries, but for eight hours, our agreed-upon means of contact have gone unanswered.

No, no, I-I think that my dad deserves to know, after years of trying to get back together with my mom, that the only reason that she said yes is because she's approved for the short list for V.P.

So I asked our laboratory to do something about it, and they said, "Well, we can do something."

Then last minute, I'm thinking, 'Can't do this. This is wrong.' My buddy says, 'C'mon, let's do this.' I say, 'Let's do this.'" And those three words, Tony's going to remember, because the next thing he knows, he hears the pop.

("Michael Crichton responds by fax:") ("Wow! Fucking Fantastic Jacket") (Laughter) (Applause) That was a relief to see that pour out of the machine.

As it turned out, next morning I wrote a letter to both of them, and Shabana Azmi replied, and came and launched my very first show 12 years ago.

The first author is Blackawton Primary School, because if it were ever referenced, it would be "Blackawton et al, " and not one individual. So we submit it to a public access journal, and it says this. It said many things, but it said this.

So I start answering this girl, and she's telling me she saw the poster and she asked her family to come, because they don't have a computer, she asked her family to come to see the poster, and they're all sitting in the living room crying.

I would send out my books. I would send out hundreds of postcards to editors and art directors, but they would go unanswered.

She wrote back to me and she said, "I'm so proud to have a son that created the software that allowed these kids to make Mother's Day cards for their mothers."

Well, I said, you know what, instead of mimicking his style, I might as well call the real guy and ask him, and I sent him my books, and he answered that he was interested in working on the film with me because he could be a big fish in a small aquarium.

I say, "No! I adopt the word 'cool.'" Let them object however they want, but give me a word that's nicer and matches the reality better.

I would come home and I would see the red light flashing on my answering machine, and instead of being thrilled to hear from my friends, I would think, "What a lot of people that is to have to call back."

When she pushed him and said, "You know, he's really quite badly off, " the doctor responded, "Well, if it's that bad, he can just go back to his previous dose for a little while."

Now, I didn't know if this was a good or bad thing, but then came the response: "Too bad it wasn't a real bomb."

as if he got the best of me, but in my mind, I know I got the best of him, so I replied very cocky, "Oh, I'm good, you good?"

I asked Jesus to fix me, and when he did not answer I befriended silence in the hopes that my sin would burn and salve my mouth would dissolve like sugar on tongue, but shame lingered as an aftertaste.

(Laughter) It's considered an innocuous question, posed to little kids to elicit cute replies, like, "I want to be an astronaut, " or "I want to be a ballerina, " or "I want to be a pirate."

LT: I have to use a lot of social media -- You be quiet now. And so -- (Laughter) LT: And I look through my emails, I look through my texts to find my friends, so I can answer them as quickly as possible, because I know they need my counsel.

They said that they had never done this before, and they couldn't guarantee a response, but they wouldn't be an obstacle, and they would deliver it.

(Laughter) Surprisingly, shockingly, Bryan got right back to me, and invited me down to meet with his team and talk to them.

Before sending the letter, I prepared myself for all kinds of negative responses, or what I found likeliest: no response whatsoever.

(Laughter) It was at that point that I asked him, "So are you basically pitching me 'Leo versus the toxic superstorm that will destroy humanity?'" And he responded by saying, "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous."

And all of these "hellos" left visible marks on the map as Samantha was flying by and as she was actually waving back every day at us using Twitter from the ISS.

If you stop people while they're using them and say, "Tell us how you feel right now, " they say they feel pretty good about these apps -- those that focus on relaxation, exercise, weather, reading, education and health.

When you go on vacation, instead of saying, "This person's on vacation, they'll get back to you eventually, " they say, "This person's on vacation, so we've deleted your email.

I knew at that moment that somebody would have to be behind closed doors arguing on my behalf, presenting content in such a way that other decision makers around that table would answer in my best favor.

If Jim knows you and you have any kind of a relationship, there's a very high probability that he will answer yes, and if he says yes, he will endeavor to get it done for you.

Maybe someday, when I say, "Hi, I'm Jack, and I'm transgender, " the only response I'll get is, "Hi, nice to meet you."

Nanahuatl replied that just as he had sacrificed himself to become Lord Sun, he now needed the nourishing blood of the other gods in order to move through the sky.

(Laughter) (Applause) Because whenever I did try to get a role that wasn't a poorly written stereotype, I would hear, "We're not looking to cast this role diversely."

And when you do, do it in a way that increases your chances that you'll get a yes and makes the other person feel awesome for having helped you, because you both deserve it.

Someone saw me on television; they called me up; and they asked me if I'd like to be in a movie and to play a young doctor for a bunch of rock and roll stars who were traveling in a bus ride from San Francisco to England.

So, we're dreaming of ways to make it easier for you, the global TED community, to respond to speakers, to contribute your own ideas, maybe even your own TEDTalks, and to help shine a light on the very best of what's out there.