Everybody wants us to see counsellors, but I don't want to share what I feel with a stranger.

(Laughter) The principal asked my parents into a meeting, asked my mother if there had been complications at birth and suggested I meet with a school psychologist.

I have to be honest with you, we only lasted a couple of months together, because she was later sent to live with a counselor instead of other students.

We have to break parents out of this straitjacket that the only ideas we can try at home are ones that come from shrinks or self-help gurus or other family experts.

Imagine a high school counselor being able to realize that an outwardly cheery student really was having a deeply hard time, where reaching out can make a crucial, positive difference.

(Laughter) When my husband and I saw a marriage counselor, I thought she was a genius when she said, "I'll see you guys in two weeks -- but I need to see you next week, sir."

Now that's interesting information that a counselor could figure out but that algorithm in our hands means that an automatic pop-up says, "99 percent match for cutting -- try asking one of these questions" to prompt the counselor.

Because I want schools to be able to see that Monday is the worst day for eating disorders, so that they can plan meals and guidance counselors to be there on Mondays.

But his parents did not notice, and it certainly was not what they had in mind, nor what the counselor had in mind when they were saying how important it is to be an open-communication family.

We are now published writers and youth program innovators and trauma experts and gun violence prevention advocates, and TED talkers and -- (Laughter) and good daddies.

As ADHD coach Brett Thornhill puts it, it's like your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels and somebody else has the remote.

And another counselor said to me after the training, "You know, I never knew why I survived the killings in my village, but now I know, because I am part of a nucleus of a new peaceful society in Afghanistan."