There's this pet agency, and--and--and, oh, I-it's so sad, a tragedy, these, uh, poor animals.

There's nothing "ooh ducky" about being teetotal, about walking into a pub after a rugby match and ordering a tap water at a bar packed full of big ugly bastards wearing warpaint.

Maya's got big, friendly eyes, three distinctive spots on her nose, and, I think you'll agree, a pretty rad hairdo.

Back in the '50s and '60s, when I was growing up, little girls were supposed to be kind and thoughtful and pretty and gentle and soft, and we were supposed to fit into roles that were sort of shadowy -- really not quite clear what we were supposed to be.

And then, besides just looking cute on a baby's bottom, we made it a Googlette, which is basically a small project at Google.

Because even though my manager was -- well, at least my children were a lot cuter than my manager, they were just as demanding.

So when it was my turn, I stood up and said, "Why [do] women's personalities on television always have to be beautiful, sweet, innocent and, you know, supportive?

We have pinks among the variety of colors, we balance out the cutes with handsomes and the prettys with strongs and smarts and work really hard not to associate any words with gender.

(Applause) So even though there are many obstacles in my life, with a lot of them being created by Progeria, I don't want people to feel bad for me.

But I do remember the lights on the oil rig off the Malaysian coast and the young man who collapsed and died, the journey's end too much for him, and the first apple I tasted, given to me by the men on the rig.

♫ Shady Grove, my little love ♫ ♫ Shady Grove, my darlin' ♫ ♫ Shady Grove, my little love ♫ ♫ Going back to Harlan ♫ That sound was just so beautiful, the sound of Doc's voice and the rippling groove of the banjo.

And she said, "Why? You look so cute, darling." I said, "You just don't understand."

Today, I don't want to talk about beautiful babies, I want to talk about the awkward adolescence of design -- those sort of dorky teenage years where you're trying to figure out how the world works.

Now, the story behind TaskRabbit starts like so many great stories with a very cute dog by the name of Kobe.

And this kid is so sweet. He made this trampoline slideshow advancer for his sister so that on her birthday, she could be the star of the show, jumping on the trampoline to advance the slides.

In the stomach, the eggs went on to develop into tadpoles, and in the stomach, the tadpoles went on to develop into frogs, and they grew in the stomach until eventually the poor old frog was at risk of bursting apart.

And meanwhile, we'll take our little three-month-old baby, keep taking it to the track, keeping it safe, and making it faster and better.

(Laughter) (Applause) The poor woman had mistakenly told him "toqborni, " and then spent the whole night trying to explain it to him.

The poor woman tried to translate this for him: "From them I extended my hands and stole you --" (Laughter) And here's the pickle: "And because you belong to them, I returned my hands and left you."

So when the poor old shift worker is going home to try and sleep during the day, desperately tired, the body clock is saying, "Wake up. This is the time to be awake."

This is how, within a dozen steps, you can go from a cute video of a counting train to masturbating Mickey Mouse.

He cut my mom six different times in six different directions, suffocating poor little me in the process.

I noticed when I wore my creations, people would stop me and say, "Wow, that's really cute. Where can I get one?"

Maybe people are documenting travel landmarks like Australia's Heart Reef, or tweeting about a concert they're attending, or sharing pictures of cute baby animals.

Amongst our members is this adorable little girl, Bia, to your right, and Bia was just 11 years old when she started a campaign using one of our tools to save her model public school from demolition.

I'm reminded of a recent visit I took to a Syrian refugee camp in northern Iraq, and I met this girl, and I thought, "She's beautiful, " and I went up to her and asked her, "Can I take your picture?"

So this evolutionary foil safeguards the plant against these rather cute animals, and protects it and of course ensures its survival.

I chose the doctor I wanted to work with, I chose the hospital I wanted to stay in, and in the meanwhile, I was supported by thousands of people, none of whom felt pity for me.

They're adorable, you love them, but there on the swing next to them, their best friend is a GM kid, and the two of them are kind of swinging like this, and you can't help but compare them, right?

They're cute, they're lovable, and judging by the 26 billions views of over 2 million YouTube videos of them pouncing, bouncing, climbing, cramming, stalking, clawing, chattering, and purring, one thing is certain: cats are very entertaining.

(Laughter) A little old lady on the sidewalk helpfully shouted at me, "My dear, you're going the wrong way!"

And the thing that was keeping them underground and keeping it from being released out into the atmosphere was that deep underground, underneath all the adorable sloths and toucans of Costa Rica, were chemolithoautotrophs.

A lot of very handsome and pretty people here, skinny, chubby, different races, cultures. We are all 99.9% genetically equal.

And finally to parents: instead of teaching our children to be brave boys or pretty girls, can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans?

The time it was Chris Connor singing "Lush Life" -- how it brought back my college sweetheart, my first real love, who -- till I left her -- played the same record.

She wrote this poem when she was 18 years old in 1888, and I look at it as kind of a very sweet feminist manifesto tinged with a little bit of defiance and a little bit of resignation and regret.

I was born and raised here in India, and I learned from an early age to be deeply suspicious of the aunties and uncles who would bend down, pat us on the head and then say to my parents with no problem at all, "Poor things. You only have three daughters.

Let's say, for the sake of argument, my mission is to get 15 pies and I can get 15 pies by killing these cute, little monsters.