...impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy, impersonating a cleric of the Church of England, sailing under false colours, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation and general lawlessness.

But in the last 24 hours, I'd grounded an aircraft almost assigned Shamaldas's ashes to the sewers, and made a bride elope from her own wedding!

Sources inside the Marin County sheriff's department confirm that Connor Flint, age 9, was snatched from his school bus stop this morning.

Uh, he alibied out for the first two kids, but not Connor, and maybe he took him to cement his relationship with Beth.

Fresno PD did say that all of the girls were taken at opportune moments, often the only time of day that they were left alone, meaning he stalks them before he kills them.

Or are you just the most cynical bitch the world has ever seen that you offer a coffee to a woman whose child you kidnapped.

My guess is that, if they were successful in kidnapping her, they'd smuggle her out of the country and dump her in an orphanage.

...in a macabre twist, after killing Agent Rigsby, 34-year-old father of a baby boy, the suspect, Patrick Jane, took Agent Teresa Lisbon, presumed dead, away with him when he escaped.

Ten-year-old Mariana Castillo snatched from her bedroom in Astoria, Queens, the abductor's signature batch of balloons left fluttering behind.

So the kidnapper has Gary and Sloan, but he sent Isaac an e-mail saying that he has us?

But by now, the kidnappers must have figured out that they took the wrong people, so, I mean, what happens to Gary and Sloan?

We figured that person was the mastermind and somebody who knew the Goodwins well, so Jane asked Vince to release a hostage.

So first the Hood rescues you and Queen from those kidnappers, now he saves your old man.

Unidentified kidnappers want $10 million deposited into an overseas account by midnight, or they will sell Schneiderman to the highest bidder.

You posed as, uh, secret service, you knock out my security detail, and then you abduct me at gunpoint.

Congressman was abducted by a white male, 6'3", dark hair, in suit.

Well, considering it was your criminally poor judgment which resulted in Joan's abduction in the first place, let's dispense with that foolishness and approach the situation the smart way.

Mr. Weeks, the charges against you, racketeering, extortion, kidnapping, and accomplice to murder, are very serious.

He kidnapped the daughter of one of our avionics specialists, forced him to retrofit a drone with an alternate control card that severed its signal with our satellite, allowing Gibson to take over remotely.

And then, win Gita back... the old fashioned way: with your boyish charm. Kidnap her.

Not often a dude ruins your face... skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama... and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments.

Mirando employees were securing their super pig when a young girl suddenly stepped in and tried to stop them.

And tragically, in 1999, when she was in Colombia working with the U'wa people, focused on preserving their culture and language, she and two colleagues were abducted and tortured and killed by the FARC.

If there was an incident today where a hundred kids died in some tragedy or where, say, a hundred kids were kidnapped and then rescued by special forces, I mean, it would be all over the news for a week, right?

And you might remember the scene in which the kidnapper is pulled over by a police officer, is asked to show his driver's license and holds his wallet out with a 50-dollar bill extending at a slight angle out of the wallet.

Abdirizak Bihi's studious 17-year-old nephew Burhan Hassan was recruited here in 2008, spirited to Somalia, and then killed when he tried to come home.

This guerrilla -- and the main group is the FARC guerrillas, Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia -- they have financed their war by kidnapping, by extortion, by getting into the drug trade, by illegal mining.

It took me long minutes to figure out that those masked men there were not there to kill me, but that someone, somewhere, had ordered my kidnapping.

After my kidnapping, I was transferred from North Ossetia to Chechnya, three days of slow travel in the trunks of different cars, and upon arrival, I was interrogated for 11 days by a guy called Ruslan.

There was no justice for any of the humanitarian aid workers killed or abducted in Chechnya between '95 and '99, and it's the same all over the world.

One of the times in Gaza, during the kidnapping of the British journalist Alan Johnston, I was asked by an American magazine to set up a meeting with the kidnappers in Gaza, and I did.

But make no mistake: the guerrillas had it all very well analyzed -- they had been kidnapping for years, and they had developed a technique to break us, to defeat us, to divide us.

In the mid-to-late '80s, the novelist Whitley Strieber wrote a book called "Communion, " in which he described his own lifelong experiences being abducted by aliens.

And even though, I think you'll agree, it is probable that during the time she was away, she was kidnapped and replaced by an alien clone, I love her and wait for her still.

One of the top chefs from Pasta Palace has been kidnapped by operatives from Burger Bazaar hoping to learn the location of their secret sauce recipe.

Larry Youngblood served eight years of a 10 and half year sentence in Arizona for the abduction and repeated sodomizing of a 10 year old boy at a carnival.

He was convicted of rape, kidnapping and robbery, and served seven years of a 47 year sentence.

But it was only when I interviewed Mario Moretti, the head of the Red Brigades, the man who kidnapped and killed Aldo Moro, Italian former prime minister, that I finally realized that terrorism is actually business.